Hump Day Humor Wed.. page 52 of 365

Well it’s Wednesday the day that it often times referred to as Hump Day. The day that falls in the middle of the week giving us hope that in 2 days the weekend will be here. When I started writing my blog I wanted to have daily posts with a theme. For example, Mindset Monday, Transistional Tuesday, ect… When it came to Wednesday I couldn’t think of what my theme would be until this morning . By 8am I knew Wednesday’s would have to be title “Hump Day Humor” simply because of how my morning started.

My alarm went off at the usual time which is 5am and of course like every other day my body was held hostage to my king of comfort. I finally got up at 5:50 am telling myself” I will not be late for work AGAIN”. I take my shower and listen to my favorite gospel singer Deitrick Haddon. My spirit and body are both awake by his inspirational words. When the song goes off I look forward to the next track from him only to find out he wasn’t on my play list. The next song was from Kwame, a rapper from my childhood. I quicky began to rap to the lyrics and I became the best shower rapper ever ! I was shocked that my playlist went from gospel to hip hop that quickly. My hands are wet and I am unable to change my playlist before Drake comes on singing “Started from the Bottom”. At that moment at approximately 6:15 am I knew how my morning was going to be. My playlist went from 3 different artists and genre of music in the blink of an eye. I knew at this point my day would be just like my play list.. all over the place!

It only became more interesting as time went on. As I was getting dressed I discovered that all of my boyshorts were in the washer therefore leaving me only thongs to wear. Now thongs were my favorite in my 30’s, but now in my 40’s I don’t want anything up the crack of my ass!! I love my boyshorts they are comfy, sexy, and both cheeks are covered! So now I have to walk around with my cheeks out and a piece of string up my ass! Not a good way to start my day !

Then it really became apparent to me at 6:50am that this day was going to be like no other. A snowball of events occurred. My youngest offspring decided to come downstairs without a coat when I told him he would need it in 30 degree weather. Then the oldest offspring figured he could go to school without washing his face! I can’t find my keys and I forgot I needed to get gas. Now it’s 7:00am and I know I’m going to be late. It’s raining and cold and all I want to do is go back to bed.

As we travel to work and proceed on our journey of fighting traffic I look at my phone and realize I have a fb message from not 1 but 2 cornballs. Both of them drier than my eczema asking me when we can go out again. If I turned you down once and don’t ever contact you why bother to contact me? I quickly chuckle at their efforts to gain my attention and pretend I didn’t read the messages. As a Libra I know the art of ignoring people.

Now here it is at 7:10 and I finally get to the gas station. Between my music, these damn thongs riding up my ass, kids with selective hearing, and these 2 men who are in my “MEH” category I wonder what else could happen. Well I spoke to soon. I go to get gas and of all the pumps I choose one that doesn’t work. Standing in the cold pressing fuel 87 and the damn pump numbers aren’t moving. I’m staring at it and it’s staring at me. My concentration is off because the thongs are in my ass. I finally realize I need to go inside and pay. So as I’m coming out a nice looking man is at his car with 10 fingers in the air. Now I just pumped 10.00 on my pump so I quickly think he is telling me in sign language that he’s paid for my gas. I’m thinking what a nice gesture now I have 20.00 worth of gas! Now I’m standing in the door smiling and giving him the national sign language for thank you. When I look to my right he’s pointing at another young lady standing there. Now here I am looking like a crazy woman smiling and talking to him in hand gestures. He’s thinking what the entire fuck is wrong with her?

That was my morning. Hopefully my day won’t be as random as my playlist, boring as these cornballs, and embarrassing my miscommunication.

Have a Wonderful and humerous Wednesday!

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