Now that I’m in my 40’s… page 87 of 365

I will be 42 in October and as I sit and listen to the music coming from the rain I can’t help but reflect and think about my life. So much has happened since the stroke of midnight two years ago when I turned 40. At that time I remember waking up saying I’m going to start a blog or write a book about my life. Simply because well I have a story like we all do and my life has been interesting to say the least. From my childhood to adolsolence , to college years to marriage to divorce and now a single mother raising two boys all of these growing phases and pains have given me the strength that I have today. However, it has been the past 2 and a half years that have truly been defining for me. I quit my job in NC as a banker to move back to TX and pursue a career in education. With this change in careers I discovered my purpose.

My purpose is in my words and my voice. I’ve discovered the power in unleashing my mind and putting my thoughts on paper. This has led me to discover that unleasing my hands to write and executing my words is tranquil for me. By realizing my talent and purpose in writing I am beginning to see things differently about my life therefore, unleashing my eyes. Leonardo DiCaprio said it best as he portrayed Jack in the Titanic,” Life is a gift and I don’t intend on wasting it. You learn to take life as it comes at you. I learn to make each day count.” His entire statement is true in my opinion and once my eyes were unleashed to see what my purpose was this has been my daily motto. Yet ,I’ve added to that stament and that is simply to make each second, each minute, each hour count.

Now ,however I did realize that in addition to unleashing my mind, my hands, and my eyes there were two key areas that needed unleashing. One is my heart the other my mouth. Over the years, I have allowed myself to be in some shitty relationships and situationships and I built a wall on my heart. I decided that I would trust my heart in God’s hand and not man. Yet in doing so I allowed myself to put up a barrier. Like this wall is so high and thick it’s going to take an act of Congress to get thru. Unfortunately by doing this I’ve been told I’m mean or that I don’t care. In my mind I don’t see it that way. When deep down inside I do, but my heart that one vessel that pumps blood throughout my body so that I can function I haven’t unleashed it. I haven’t unleashed it to love anyone anymore because in addition to the blood that it filters through my body it also filters hurt. Well because of this my mouth sometimes unleashes words that can hurt because I’m afraid to unleash words that show I care. Hence I write my uttermost thoughts and feelings making my mouth say the things that I choose not to articulate. My mouth comes alive on paper and unleashing my heart to pump the letters and words to express my feelings.

So as I continue to embrace my 40’s I will continue to embrace my purpose. My purpose to write and to make each day count. I’ll continue to unleash my mind, hands, and eyes. At 41 I’m beginning to see that it’s ok to unleash my heart, but only to the right one designed for me. It’s ok to unleash my mouth to tell him how I feel because he will feel the same way. I will no longer be mean I’ll be nice LOL!

So I ask you at whatever age you are how are you making each day count? Are you unleashing your mind, eyes, hands, heart, and mouth for your purpose?

Have a great Whisky Wednesday!

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