Filter… or lack there of page 106 of 365

Here it is Tuesday at 5:45 am and I need to get out of my king of pleasure. My king has been holding me hostage for 30 minutes now with his warm embrace. The fluffiness of his arms A.K.A my pillows are in the right position and I can’t move or rather I simply don’t want to move. However, I tell myself I need to get up and get to work so I won’t be late and get written up again because my king won’t let me go. Once I’m up I’m alert and began to get my day started. I go through my usual morning routine shower, listen to music, pray, get the kids up, and cook breakfast. Now experts say( whoever experts are) that breakfast is the meal needed to start your day. While I couldn’t agree more with them, I would have to add another substance to my daily breakfast menu to get my day started. First it’s the aroma that calls my name simply because it’s strong and robust and the it fills the air with its richness. It’s  black rich body has been simplified to grounds for my drinking pleasure. By now I am sure you know I am referring to good old coffee, java, cup of Joe, and other countless names given to this caffeine drug.  Coffee is my fix each and every day. It could be a mental obsession, but nevertheless, it is my drink of choice in the morning. See this is the one thing that I will not rush with or be in a hurry to do in the morning and that is making coffee. Just like sex you need take your time, make sure there is the right amount of water to prevent it from being weak , and you need protection a filter. So naturally, when it comes to making my drink of choice in the morning, I take my time assuring myself that I have done everything correctly. There is one main factor or tool needed when making coffee the old fashion way and that is a filter. As I stand here placing the robust grinds of flavor in the filter I was amazed that a thin white film of paper plays such an important role in the coffee-making process. The filter holds and separates the grinds from the pot. I mean who wants tiny specks of coffee grinds in their coffee? As I stand here thinking and taking in the aroma, I realized that I too have a filter and that in fact we all do. Now you’re probably wondering what my filter is and it is my mouth.

I realized when I turned 40 I began to say exactly what was on my mind. If something is bothering me I say it. If I like something I say it. I noticed that I no longer have a filter meaning now I say what is on my mind. See before, I would keep my feelings inside, not sure how or if I should express my thoughts and feelings. My friend said I’m “gutta” , I’m”savage” with my words , and Oak Cliff is my hood!!! For example, as I was attempting to have a conversation with a guy I recently met and the conversation was bone dry. I mean the conversation was drier than my skin when my eczema flares up. So I told him that having a conversation with him is dry. It was the first thought that came to my mind so I said it. I figured no point in beating around the bush just say what is the obvious and keep it moving in life. That is my motto.

So as I sip my coffee I can’t help but think that my thoughts are robust and strong like my coffee grinds. Except I don’t have a filter to separate my thoughts on what to say and what to hold back. I realize that I am officially Dorothy and Sophia from the Golden Girls I say what the fuck I want to !  I should probably have one, then again HELL NO!

Have a Wonderful Wednesday !

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