It’s 6 am Saturday and I am up listening to the thoughts race in my mind. Amazing to me that my mind seems to stay in overdrive with things that I need to do, topics I want to write about, finances, kids, and the list goes on and on. So, I do what any person in 2018 does I scrolled through social media sites and discovered the royal wedding was being televised. Yes, I know, I’m one of those people that is intrigued by the royal family of England and the glitz and glamour of their weddings. Not only is it the weddings, but the history of the monarchy that is interesting to me. I am captivated by the fact that in their culture marriages were for the most part arranged. Arranged in the manner that two people having never met were placed together for strategic reasons, often to create an alliance with various European countries to strengthen them. Marriages at that time wasn’t based on love rather they were based on the control of power. Affection and romance were not top priority at the time only politics and diplomatic reasons were the main reasons people were married. Now that is in the past and today arranged marriages in the British royal family is not practiced. Today, marriage is based on love and personal affection towards one another. As I sat eyes glazed at the tv I noticed two people coming from different backgrounds who chose each other to marry all the while having their scarcet ceremony displayed for all to see.
As I was watching in awe of what is now the Duke and Duchess of Sussex I couldn’t help but think of how happy they looked and how it all reminded me of a fairy tale. A fairy tale that I too sought after and wanted to experience. A fairy tale that while growing up as little girls in our society we are told in books and stories that to have a happy ending we should find our prince and live happily ever after. There is the white dress full of tulle, the tiara made of lace encrusted with diamonds, friends and family to see us walk down the aisle on our wedding day while the birds chirp and the sun is out. Above everything else there is that “look” that he gives her as she walks down the aisle. It’s that “look” where the eyes say so much and the tongue is speechless. Everything is said to be perfect. It was in 2001 when I had my fairy tale wedding. That dream to be a princess finally came true and in true fashion everything was perfect. From my dress, to the weather, and even the “look” he gave me as I walked down the aisle. However, in the fairy tale stories the author doesn’t continue and tell how life after the wedding is. I mean that would be too much of a reality and no longer a fairy tale. The author does not go on to tell the reader that there will be disagreements, kids that will keep you up at night, bills to pay, and countless real-life events that affect your marriage. How to effectively communicate and loyalty towards one another are not written in the story. That part you learn on your own because the author doesn’t want the fantasy to become a reality.
What I have learned is in our society the story line of these great love stories centers around how the couple met and the wedding, never the ins and outs of the marriage itself. We the reader especially women are amazed and intrigued by the romance of that part of the story. To me that is the easy part and yes while romanticize the true love story is the daily adventures of the marriage. I would like a story that shows the interactions that a couple experiences after the pomp and circumstance is over. To me that is the more meaningful than fairytale of the wedding because it is the real and true.
So, as I sit here and reflect on this warm summer morning sipping my coffee, I think about the next chapter in my life. How I am a princess in my heart. I wear my tiara every day which is only visible to me, my smile is as white as my dress, my heart full of love like the sun as it shines bright in the sky. I no longer need or want the fairy tale wedding and all the glitz and glamor that surrounds a 2 to 3-hour event. What I want is the reality of a marriage that is filled with love that will last for years to come and that we will look at each other daily in amazement because we are loyal to each other. I won’t seek out my prince for I know that he will find me and when the time is right we will meet while smoking cigars sipping on scotch and he will give the “look” because he will know that I am his princess.